Lunch Conversation

Megan: "Tell me, what CAN'T Santa do?"

Me: "I know, right?"

Megan: *silence, staring at me*

Me: "Oh, you really want me to tell you what Santa can't do."

Megan: "Well, yeah."

Me: "Ok. Ummm, this may be a pretty short list, 'cause he's a pretty impressive person."

Megan: "It's ok. Tell me."

Me: "Well, Santa can't make every day Christmas."

Megan: "Yeah, I know that."

Me: "Ok. Ummm... Santa can't bring presents to kids on the naughty list. It's one of his rules."

Megan: "Yeah, I know that."

Me: "Ok... umm.... Santa can't bring things like puppies or babies as Christmas presents."

Megan: "Yeah, 'cause puppies come from mommy dog tummies and babies come from mommies' tummies."

Me: "Right. Ummm... Santa.... uh.... Santa can't bring anyone back from the dead."

Megan: *totally unphased* "Right."

Me: *almost a minute of silence*

Megan: "That's it?"

Me: "No, uh, oh! Santa can't ride a bike. Well, maybe he can- I forget he's got that huge workshop."

Megan: "That and he's pretty fat."

Me: "Yeah, but we don't talk about that- I hear he's sensitive about it."

Megan: "Oh, and he can hear us, can't he?" *louder* "He's not fat, he's just... he's handsome!"

Me: "Well, he's what we call pleasantly plump."

Megan: "Right!" *then does the 'whew' wipe of her forehead*

Me: "Oh, it's a little known fact that Santa can vaccuum like nobody's business. He's a wizard with a vaccuum cleaner."

Megan: *finally impressed* "REALLY?"

Me: "Yep, it's true. I can't think of anything else he really can't do, he's quite an accomplished guy. I mean, he can take presents to all the good boys and girls all on one night. If you can do that, most other things must seem really easy."

Megan: "Yeah, I bet you're right."